Ricky Gervais writes Oscar script for Anne Hathaway, James Franco, poking fun at himself, celebs

Ricky Gervaiswon't be hosting Sunday'sOscars, but that didn't stop the comedian from writing his own script for the night.

Gervais, who was widely panned for his insult-heavy comedy routine at last month'sGolden Globes,posted a tongue-in-cheekdraft comedy routine on his blog for Oscar hostsJames FrancoandAnne Hathaway.

"Good luck,"the funnyman wrote to the two stars."They will do an absolutely fantastic job and don't need my help, but I've written a little opening in case they have a few minutes to fill."

The ensuing dialogue pokes fun at both the Hollywood celebrities, who took offense at his Globes act and at Gervais himself.

"You probably know me from127 Hourswhere I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was,"Gervais writes in a piece of dialogue meant for Franco."Now that sounds 'way out' but wait till half way through this f---ing ceremony and you'll start to identify with him."

"No comedians tonight,"Hathaway would say, according to the script."And do you know why? Because comics are ugly."

"Especially that rude obnoxious one who played theSteve Carellpart in the English remake of TheOffice,"Franco would reply.

"Ricky Gervais is now worth $80 million,"Franco is supposed to continue."The obnoxiousBritconfirmed the figure, adding,'Yes and my dentist hasn't seen a penny.'"

"Yeah, why doesn't he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood?"Hathaway responds in the script.

Gervais, who fought off rumors he is"banned"from hosting next year's Golden Globes, has consistently defended his performance at the Globes and promised to deliver more of the same if hired again.

"If they do invite me back and I accept, I'm going to pull exactly the same s--- again or even worse,"he said in a statementearlier this month."Everyone has been warned."

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