'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides'review: Overstuffed and underwhelming

Even a maverick has to pay the bills, right? WhileJohnny Depphas built himself an admirably eclectic resume, a villa in the South ofFrancedoesn't run itself. Which means, presumably, that he can't take risks like"Rango"unless he occasionally pads his bank account with yet another overstuffed, underwhelming"Pirates of the Caribbean"sequel.

Perhaps directorGore Verbinskihas a smaller mortgage, as he wisely walked away after his third attempt. (Or maybe he just knew"Rango,"which he also made, would turn out well.)

The new captain isRob Marshall, who scrapes off a few of the barnacles that clung to the last effort. But he can't avoid the feeling that this adventure has run aground.

WithOrlando BloomandKeira Knightleyalso gone, Penélope Cruz has stepped in as Angelica, the daughter of Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Together, they're on a search for the legendary fountain of youth. But they'd better move quickly: a British team led by Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) plans to get there first.

Angelica assembles a crew by posing as her former beau—a certainJack Sparrow. The real Sparrow (Depp) is characteristically bemused by this impersonation, until he figures out how to turn it to his advantage. Soon he's hopped aboard Blackbeard's ship, determined to beat everyone else to immortality.

Cruz makes a fine foil for Depp; her spirited presence brings a much-needed second (fourth?) wind to these familiar proceedings. But she can't carry a movie alone, and everyone else—Depp included—seems to be nearly tapped out. There's one great scene in which the sailors meet some unexpectedly dangerous mermaids, but it only  highlights what's missing most of the time.

Meanwhile, even those inclined to be generous may suspect they're being duped when they put on their plastic glasses. Making a frustratingly dark movie even muddier, the 3D andImaxoptions enhance nothing but the price of a ticket.

There was a time when Captain Jack was as wonderfully unpredictable as Depp's other iconic characters. But despite Sparrow's ongoing flashes of charm, Depp himself seems to know he's coasting. No matter how much treasure this excursion turns up, he's clearly more inspired by uncharted territory.

Don't Miss: Keep your eyes open for a surprising cameo at the start--you'll never guess who Sparrow seduces during his first escape.

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